


What If

by Mirgirl89



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Boys' Love, Forgiveness, Healing, Loss, Lost Love, M/M, Moving On, Reincarnation, Romance, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:08:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21653515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirgirl89/pseuds/Mirgirl89
Summary: Why does everything seem to remind Chanyeol of him? The sunshine peaking through the window, the sound of a soft piano playing in the background, the sweet scent of flowers. How long had it even been? It feels just like yesterday, when his whole world collapsed. Could time cure all things or would this forever be a scar...what if...they had never met what if...he hadn't said the things he said what if...he hadn't let him walk out the door...what if.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

*Buzz buzz...buzz buzz. Groggily Chanyeol feels around his bed trying to find the noise. He finally finds his phone and practically rips it from the charger trying to shut it off. 

What kind of nightmare was that. It was a new one. He saw him standing in the distance but couldn't reach him in time. Not the best start to a Monday. 

Chanyeol glances at the clock, 7:47. Dang, he's gonna be late! A quick grab of the toothbrush and a 30 second shave would have to work for today. Shoving on the first pair of pants and white shirt he could find, while hunting down his car keys that he tossed on the couch the night before. He left the apartment without a second glance at the mirror. 

Surely, Suho wouldn't be too mad at him for being late this once. It's not like it's happened many times before. 

Working at a small music store, didn't require much effort, but Chanyeol loves what he does. Twice a week, Chanyeol teaches a guitar class at his friend Suho's shop. Occasionally when Suho was out of town Chanyeol would help run the shop. Like today when he promised to open the shop for him.

'Please, please, please, let there be no one waiting at the door!', Chanyeol whispered. He was known for always being on time, but something about that dream completely through him off. 

After parking his car, he ran around the block and luckily there was no one outside. How did he get so lucky. 

Once the store was unlocked and open for business, it was time for Chanyeol to get into what he truly loves...music. For as long as he can remember music has always played a major role in his life. At 10, his mother allowed him to begin piano and guitar lessons. By 12, he had managed to learn the bass guitar and drums to top it all off. Chanyeol's dream was to be a part of a band, that allowed creativity and fun of course. 

At the age of 26, he didn't think he would be where he was in life, thinking of his childhood dream. While Chanyeol was a successful musician and lyricist, much of his passion left when a certain someone exited his life. His musician spirit was still alive but his ability to connect to people with words disappeared. His current joy of teaching students at Suho's shop is what has kept him afloat for so long. 

The downside to being alone in the music shop, are the memories. Not necessarily at this shop in particular but the being around so many instruments is bound to bring back some memories. 

Long beautiful hands floating softly across the piano. Smiles the fill the entire room. The voice of an angel that seeps into every core of your being. 

'Mr. Park, Mr. Park!! Look what I've learned!' Young Mark, runs into the store showing Chanyeol the new chord he's been practicing. 

Just in time, before too many memories resurfaced. Why remember a past that caused so much pain.


	2. Chapter 2

It's so easy to get lost in the music. To feel each chord start at the tip of your fingers and move to the end of your toes. Even with everything Chanyeol has got through he still gets the same feel everytime he picks up a guitar. 

A wrong chord jerks Chanyeol out of his daydream. "You just about had it right Minjae, just down a little more." As he shows the boy the correct chord. Why is he zoning out so much today? "Focus Chanyeol, Focus," he whispers under his breath. 

After an hour of teaching Minjae's mom comes to pick him up and Chanyeol is left alone again with his thoughts. 

Why is he like this today, it's not like him to lose focus so frequently. It's then that he realizes what day it is, May 6. How could he have forgotten! It's 'his' birthday. Suho should have made sure that Chanyeol was not alone today, how did this happen!

"Just take a few breaths, it's just another day, no reason to get worked up." Chanyeol closes his eyes and sees it as if it were yesterday. 

There he was sitting gracefully at the piano, long beautiful fingers resting softly on the keys. Eyes closed with his soft brown hair slightly covering his forehead. Suddenly heavenly music started filling up the room, how someone could seem so angelic. He was like this any time he played. There was a hint of sadness behind this tune, but it was hardly heard by the listener. 

It ended just like that. Even though it was brief it still had an effect on Chanyeol. Why didn't he notice the pain in that tune? Why didn't he see the sadness behind those beautiful eyes. 3 years, it has been 3 years and he still can't seem to shake the past. What else can he do? He's tried to forget the way...the way he brought the best out of Chanyeol. Now that's gone and all is left is the shell of someone who could have been great. 

Just at that moment Suho comes through the door. "I'm so sorry Chanyeol, I completely forgot what day it was! How could you even agree to come in today!?"

"Suho hyung, it's been almost 3 years, I'm fine." 

"Fine, FINE!? Chanyeol, it's been 3 years since you've been able to play your guitar in public! How is that 'fine'! We all knew that you needed time to get over everything and that is completely understandable, but it's been 3 years, we just want you to get better and to join us."

"I know hyung, I know but I promise I'm almost where I need to be, but the moment I hear the piano, my mind goes blank. You don't think I know that 3 years is a long time to be hung up on somebody! You don't think I want to forget about the person that..." 

"I'm sorry, Chanyeol! I'm really sorry! I didn't realize how much you still carried with you."

Suho held Chanyeol as he cried. It was the same year after year. Xiumin, Lay, and Suho were used to Chanyeol having a complete breakdown on this day. They has hoped that after a set amount of time that it would be easier for Chanyeol to cope but this year didn't seem to be it. Maybe it was best to take him out for the night with the guys to take his mind off of things. 

"Chanyeol, I'm sorry I forgot about today but do you wanna go out with the gang and I. They all miss seeing you and I don't want you to be alone tonight."

Sniffling back a few tears Chanyeol agreed to go out with the boys. Anything would be better than his own memories. 

8pm  
"You're fine, today is just a normal day with the guys. Now smile a little no need to alarm anyone." Nothing like a small pep talk before leaving. It had been awhile for all of them hanging out together. This should be fine. 

Chanyeol shows up at bar just as Kai arrives. "Chanyeol hyung, Suho finally convinced you to join that's great! Why have you been hiding? You know everything is different with you not around! Let's get inside before Kyungsoo kicks our ass!" 

This was Chanyeol's favorite bar he ever played in. The smell of old guitar strings and bourbon always put a smile on his face. Even though it had been a few months nothing had changed. Even though the faces were different, the bar was always the same. 

Looking over, Chanyeol noticed the guys already seated in their usual spot in the corner. Xiumin sitting next to Chen, Kyungsoo pulling Kai into the booth, Lay trying to convince Sehun that he can do magic, and Suho trying to get everyone to focus on him. 

Chanyeol smirked as he watched the group. Despite the change of time, nothing had indeed changed. They were having the same conversation with the same outcome. All of these men were his brothers. They have been through everything together and still have remained solid. For that he was thankful. 

As he approached the table, he was first noticed by Sehun, "Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence." 

After a graceful bow by Chanyeol, and the entire group erupting in laughter, he took a seat next to Suho. 

"Look I made it, are you happy now?" Whispered Chanyeol. 

"Would you look at their faces while you say that? Believe it or not but all of them have missed you."

It seemed like all at once the whole table decided it was a good idea to start 7 different conversations at once. Chanyeol dodging back and forth between conversations and trying to comprehend all of the gossip he had just heard. 

Despite the craziness, he was thoroughly enjoying himself when all of the sudden...he heard the piano play. The moment he heard the chords, he knew. 

Baekhyun?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the chapters seem short at first, I'm working on expanding my thoughts since this is my first time writing. Enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

'Baekhyun!' Chanyeol jumps up and turns toward the piano, only to see an older man playing the piano. Why does he still imagine him in places. There is no way he could ever be here. 

The table grew very quite with the whole disturbance. Chen was the only one to hear 'Baekhyun' come out of Chanyeol's mouth but everyone picked up on it pretty fast.

Once Chanyeol sat back down, Sehun was quick to start conversation back up. They all knew that Chanyeol was still suffering but weren't sure what else to do after all this time. They had never seen two people more perfect for each other. 

A memory starts to form. 

He had met Baekhyun at the bar he would frequently play at. Baekhyun was new in town and was invited to the bar by his friend Tao. Tao was close to the owner Kris and thought Baekhyun would be a great addition to artist night. 

The moment Baekhyun started to play the piano, all eyes were on him. Chanyeol had never met another human being who had the ability to make the entire audience feel what he was feeling. Chanyeol knew from the start that this was someone he needed to be friends with. 

After Baekhyun's set, Chanyeol coerced Kris into giving him information about this random guy. After a lot of playful jabs and a few cute smiles, Kris finally told Chanyeol his name, 'Baekhyun, okay, Baekhyun! He's new in town and Tao said he was good so I went with it! Are we good now? Can you leave me alone?' With that information Chanyeol was okay for the time being. It didn't stop him from stopping by every night to see if a certain someone was there.

Finally on the 5th nights he showed up. Tonight was the night, Chanyeol was going to talk to him tonight. It was a night where Chanyeol wasn't playing so he was going to enjoy all of the performances. Suddenly a smaller man with a cute button nose and beautiful boxy smile entered the stage. 

Chanyeol sat there just staring at this angelic man, wondering how someone would be so perfect until Baekyun started to play. Each key that was hit sent chills up Chanyeol's spine, every note pulled at his heart, wishing to consume every inch of his body. 

He was so into the music that he didn't even realize that it had ended. He opened his eyes only to see another person enter the stage. Frantically he looks around the crowd hoping to catch a glimpse of this strange man that had captured his heart without even a word. 

After searching everywhere inside the bar, he decides to check outside. He runs out the backdoor and right into someone, knocking them to the ground. 'Oh my gosh, I'm sooooo sorry, let me help you up.' As soon as Chanyeol lifts the man off the ground, he finally gets a good look at his face, then he freezes. 

'It's alright, it's alright! There was no harm done. You must have been in a terrible hurry, I'm sorry to have stopped you." Those were the first words he had heard out of Baekhyun's mouth. 

Chanyeol just stood there mouth gaping, his mind refusing to produce anything but saliva. As Baekhyun started walking away, he was able to throw out a couple of words, 'Chanyeol, my name is Chanyeol.' Baekhyun turned around and gave a huge smile. 'It's nice to meet you Chanyeol, my name is Baekhyun.' With that he walked away. 

This was why Chanyeol tried to avoid bars with live music. It brought back too many memories. Yet who would have known that someone would play 'his' song. Chanyeol had known that a few of 'his' songs had gotten popular around the area but he didn't think that one would come up tonight of all nights. 

'So Chanyeol, Suho tells us that you've been writing again lately. We were curious if you had anything you'd like to share with us.' Lay, had always been a fan of Chanyeol's writing and was excited to see what the almighty one had given to the world. 

'Uhh...yeah I've been working on something but it's not much to talk about.' Chanyeol sighed. It had been a long time since he'd been able to write anything. He knew that his friends were excited to see him getting back into the Chanyeol he used to be, but he wasn't quite ready to share himself with the world again. 

'You should have seen the mess he made of the break area! I came in after meeting with a supplier and he had covered the floor with wads of paper! If I wasn't so excited to see him writing again I would have thrown a fit!' Suho gave a little smirk at the end. He didn't want Chanyeol to feel pressure with writing again, knowing everything. He was hoping that with the help of the other's that would encourage him to write more. 

After a round of laughter and another round of drinks the night ended with a Sehun twerking on the table, a Lay crying over the pronunciation of Jurassic, and Kyungsoo kicking Kai off the stool.

It had been awhile since Chanyeol had laughed that much. As hard as the last few years had been, he's always had his amazing friends around to force him to shower, and to always change into clean clothes because wearing ramen on your pant legs is not a fashion statement. He's got some amazing friends.

He helped Kai, Sehun and Lay into Kyungsoo's car and Suho grabs Chen and Xiumin and drags them to his car, leaving Chanyeol alone. Suho waves goodbye as he drives off. 

Chanyeol doesn't mind being left alone. He barely drank anything because he knows how dark things can get for him when he does. Those were bad times for him and he wouldn't do that to his friends again. 

He puts his hand in his pocket to grab his keys when he realizes they aren't there. He knows he had them earlier but maybe when Sehun knocked over his chair climbing onto the table he knocked it out of his pocket. 

Chanyeol goes back to the table hoping his keys were laying on the ground by it. He scans around the table and sees nothing, then he hears a voice behind him, 'Are you looking for these?' He turns toward the voice and sees his keys hanging from the guys hand. 'Yes thank you so much, my friend got a bit wild, I appreciate you finding my keys.'

Chanyeol grabbed the keys without getting a very good look at the person's face. He bowed in thanks and once he stood up, he was face to face with the guy. Chanyeol stood there wide eyed, unable to move. There was no way! Why?! How?! The world started to get a bit fuzzy and it was hard to breathe. All of the sudden Chanyeol's world went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read so far. I never knew I had it in me to write something but I had some ideas buzzing around my head. I'm sorry I'm not the best at putting my thoughts into words but I do appreciate anyone who reads what I write. Thank you so much. I did not proofread so I'm sorry for any mistakes. I've read so many stories and I still don't know what to say on my own. I want to maintain a bit of mystery as I write this story so I hope the suspense isn't super boring. If anyone has any pointers they would like I share I would love it! Thank you all so much!


	4. Chapter 4

Flashback

What is this feeling? It's something Chanyeol had never felt before. 

He was anxious after the night he exchanged names with Baekhyun. He wasn't sure when they would meet again but decided to leave it up to fate. The next night they met and exchanged numbers. 

He didn't know what to say. How was he to start a conversation with an Angel! 

After 2 full days of staring at a blank message, Chanyeol was about to give up. At that moment his phone buzzed. 

Wide eyed, he quickly opened the message. He sent one first, WHAT, WHY!? After a couple of quick breaths he opened the message. 

'Hey, this is Baekhyun. We met the other night. Kris told me that you are also interested in music and I would love to make a more friends with similar interests. Do you wanna meet up sometime?'

Did...Baekhyun...just ask him out! 'Wake up Chanyeol! Wait up! You barely even know the guy why are you freaking out so much?'

Chanyeol hadn't dated much in his life but he knew what the beginnings of a crush felt like. I mean why wouldn't he meet with him. Like Baekhyun said, they both enjoy music and the more friends the merrier. 

After building up enough courage to reply, he sent the simple, 'I would like that.'

After a few back and forth messages, they decided to meet in 2 days. This would give Chanyeol enough time to hopefully compose himself into a somewhat decent human being and not a tongue tied moron. 

...

The night finally arrived. To say that Chanyeol was an emotional wreck was an understatement. He had never felt so nervous, well at least it had been awhile since he felt that way. 

After trying on about 15 different outfits, Chanyeol decided on a black shirt, with a red and black plaid jacket and jeans. He wanted to look somewhat sophisticated while maintaining a bit of casual. 

5:45pm, it's out the door he goes. While walking to the bar he decided to test out a few greetings, it also helped his heart from beating out of his chest. He didn't want to sound too formal but formal enough since he didn't know Baekhyun's age. Plus it was best to come across as polite and not too arrogant, if he wanted to try to woo the angel. 

WOO!! No, not woo...befriend, yes befriend is what he wanted to do. 

With the deepest breath he could muster, Chanyeol stepped into the bar. After weaving through a few people, he noticed the smaller, brunette tucked away into the corner with earbuds in. 

After a quick smile, Chanyeol walked up to the smaller figure and slightly tapped his shoulder. 

Being completely absorbed into his music, Baekhyun didn't notice the person standing behind him. The tap brought him back to the real world and he twisted around. 

Seeing Chanyeol behind him, Baekhyun smiled a bright smile and stood up. 'Hi, Chanyeol, I'm glad you were able to join me tonight!'

The moment Chanyeol saw that smile, he knew was was doomed and there would be no way out. 

With a quick, 'thank you for inviting me.' Chanyeol took a seat. How was one supposed to sit in this situation. Should he put his hands on the table, or on his lap. Should he smile or have the stoic look. Did he actually forget all of the training he has done the past couple of days? 

'So Chanyeol, what is it about music that drew you in? Baekhyun asks, breaking through Chanyeol's thoughts. 

'Uhhh, well, I guess...it started when I was younger, I thought it sounded fun and it just started from there. I learned guitar and drums, then later learned piano and electric guitar. For some reason I found a certain peace when playing music. I really don't know what I would do without it.' Chanyeol bit his lip, suddenly feeling self conscious. 

'I can understand. Something being so strong that it takes over a part of you, and pushes you to do more. It's what makes you more you.' Baekhyun smiled with a small glint of sadness in his eyes. 

Chanyeol looked up and gave a smile, 'I can tell that you feel that too,in the way you play. You give off so much passion and pain when you play. It's hard for anyone to not feel it.'

'I'm very glad I could meet a kindred spirit here. I was a bit worried that I might be a bit lonely after moving here but Kris assured me that I would meet some amazing people, and he was right.' The angel's light seem to brighten a bit more. 

'To my knowledge, Kris has never been wrong. He must have known how good you were to have brought you here. I mean I would know, he's friends with me after all.' Chanyeol chuckled.

'So what are you drinking tonight Chanyeol?' Kris asked walking up to the table. 'I think I'll be good and have water tonight.' Chanyeol replied with a wink. 'Would you like anything else Baekhyun?' 'No, I'm alright Kris, thank you.' Kris walked away to grab Chanyeol's water. 

'So what brings you to this lovely city of ours? Needed to run away?' Chanyeol ask jokingly. 

Chanyeol saw Baekhyun tense up and a flash of fear came across his face but it was gone in an instant. 'I suppose you could say I needed a change. Just tired of the same ol' thing.'

After a moment of silence, Chanyeol finally responds, 'So how would you like to play together? We could go back to my place, I have a room!' 'I mean I have a practice room, you know with instruments, not...' Chanyeol's sentence got cut off by the cutest laughter, he had ever heard. Baekhyun was leaning over the table, hand covering his face, laughing his heart out. 

Baekhyun's laughter was contagious and soon Chanyeol joined in, slapping the table almost causing their drinks to spill which lead to more laughter from the other. After a few minutes, Baekhyun was finally able to catch his breath enough to respond, 'Yes, Chanyeol I would love to play music with you.' 

That night was the night Chanyeol fell completely for Baekhyun. He had never felt a connection like that with anyone. It didn't require words, they were bonded by music. Heaven had sent him an angel when he had least expected it. 

If he had known how things would have ended, he would have clung onto him a bit more. You only meet the love of your life once, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I did it, I wrote another chapter. I apologize for any grammar issues or confusion. Sometimes my brain and hands don't sync correctly. Thank you to everyone who has read what I have written so far, I appreciate it more than you realize!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my first fanfic! I'm not the best writer but I wanted to put some stories in my head out into the world. I hope you enjoy what is to come!


End file.
